Coping Mechanisms
by Tay Lupin
Summary: People cope differently. Traumatic events lead to traumatic lives and sometimes it take more than just time to move on. Harry finds it hard to deal with the aftermath of the war and just wants to get away to move on in his own time. Sometimes a clean break is just what you need.
1. Chapter 1

**Please lend me your opinions and leave me a review!**

 **I have too many plot bunnies for the next chapter I don't know what to do!**

 **Disclaimer: so far, I do not have any claim on Harry Potter or anything associated with the Potterverse.**

There was a blast. He remembered that much. The war was over, but as soon as he had Lord Voldemort's wand in his hand it was like a quiet explosion in his head. And then he had passed out.

****TL****

Upon waking, Harry knew he couldn't stay. He needed some peace away from all the reminders. All the worried faces peered down at him when he opened his eyes. Hermione, Ron, Luna, Molly, Ginny…the list went on. And he wanted nothing more than to close his eyes and fall back into the darkness. For days, he stayed in his room at Grimmald place. Not talking to anyone, hardly eating. There was a permanent ward on the door, alerting him to who was entering. Something Sirius must have put up as a teen. Some days he let people in, other days he didn't want anyone near him. Hermione was the easiest to be around. She let him sit quietly watching out the window at the grey clouds of London. Sometimes she spoke, told him how everyone was. What everyone was doing. She never pressured him to leave his room. Unlike others, Ginny used to cry, and beg him to come back to her, to Ron, to Hermione, to the family. But he couldn't, he couldn't sit there and see the empty place where Fred used to sit. Or sit in the armchairs that he used to talk to Remus in. He didn't want to see the scars on everyone's faces, both physical and mental. Grimmald place felt empty without Sirius' and Tonks laughter. Without Moody's constant vigilance. Without Snape's intimidating demeanour. Nothing filled the Most Noble House of Black any more but solemn people. There was no bustling Burrow to return to. Just dust in Grimmald place.

****TL****

A year had past. Harry knew that. He also knew that he hadn't gotten any better by staying in London. Harry had left his room, he had joined mealtime much to everyone's delight. But he still didn't want to speak. Everything was too hard still. Sitting at his desk he made a decision. He knew when he first woke up he couldn't stay. It was time to move on and he couldn't do that here. He hadn't used magic since that final battle, didn't want to use it. Magic could be glorious, magic could be terrible, but he had seen enough of it to last him a lifetime. So he drew a map out of the cupboard and stared at it, wondering where to go. That's how Hermione found him.

"You can't move on here, can you?" she whispered. Harry turned to face her and shook his head.

"I'll miss you Harry, wherever you decide to go. And I hope that you will let us help you. I know you aren't going to let us know where you go, but I hope that you'll let us know you're ok at least. And that one day you'll be well enough to be with us again." She murmured quietly. Harry smiled sadly at her. One day.

****TL****

"You knew he was leaving and you didn't even let us say goodbye Hermione! How could you do that?" Ginny yelled at her. Ron was quiet. The news was too much for him to handle.

Minutes passed before Hermione responded.

"Because he can't move on Ginny, the only reason I knew was that I happened to walk in and he was looking at a map. He couldn't cope seeing all of us and being reminded every day of what we all went through. He died for us Gin, he literally died for us. And he doesn't know how to deal with us here. He has been through the most traumatic times, we all have. He's going to come back one day. He will have to, to face everything and deal with it, but right now he can't. It's too much for him. It's too much." She finished brokenly. Ginny stared at her with puffy eyes and red cheeks, tears rolling from her eyes.

"Mione's right. Harry always had trouble coping, Gin." Ron murmured.

"I just wish we could have helped him."

****TL****

The first thing Harry did when he left Grimmald place was stop at Gringotts. He changed enough wizarding money to muggle money to last him for a couple of years. He didn't know if he would need it all, but it was there just in case. He didn't know how long he might be away from London for. It could be a couple of month, it could be years. He just didn't know. Leaving Diagon Alley, Harry headed for the airport. Within half an hour he had a plane ticket and was queued up for boarding.

****TL****

Miles away a vision struck. A haunted looking boy was about to have a devastating impact on a seemingly happy couple.

****TL****

 **Oh hey!**

 **So I have started something new…again.**

 **Please let me know what you think, I have multiple tangents that I could go on for this one with Harry being the primary character, but I have plot bunnies for multiple crossovers with this or just plain vanilla Harry Potter. I really don't know what way I will swing with this so please lend me your opinions!**

 **Tay Lupin xx**


	2. Chapter 2

**PLEASE REVIEW. I LIKE TO KNOW WHAT THE READERS THINK! DISCLAIMER, NO CHARACTERS ARE MY OWN SO FAR ONLY THE PLOT IS MINE. XX**

Setting up a house had been easy. He had enough money that the real estate agent didn't ask any questions and purchasing what he needed was relatively easy as well. Getting his license was harder but Harry managed it. The people in his new town probably thought he was odd, because he couldn't or wouldn't talk, but that was ok. He was here to mend, and have a chance at making his own life without any threats. He picked out a little cottage, just a fifteen minute drive from two small towns, isolated by dense green foliage and forest. It reminded him a little of the Forbidden Forest, but a happier version, one that depicted growth and fertility. The cottage was quaint, calming pastel blues and cheery pale yellows that brightened up the place. It was so totally different from Grimmald place that Harry felt lighter and more relaxed already. It was a surreal feeling.

Two months passed before Harry decided to leave the house for a reason other than going to the supermarket for food. It was late March and he was hit by the urge to do something. He didn't know what he wanted to do, but he wanted to do something, anything. Picking up the morning paper at breakfast was the first break through. As he flipped through the pages a small advert caught his eye.

'Offering piano and guitar lessons, all ages welcome. Contact +614995877632 or Enquire at the hospital help desk on Thursdays and Fridays after 4:30.'

Harry stared at the advert. It was Wednesday, he could go in to the hospital tomorrow and enquire. He certainly couldn't call the number. While he might have felt lighter and happier in the last few months, he still had no urge to talk. He wasn't even sure he could anymore; he hadn't tried at all since waking the first time after the battle. Harry frowned, music seemed like a great idea and he would be able to express himself through the music but he hadn't really met anyone in the town yet apart from the three girls that worked at the supermarket and the older gentleman that ran the petrol station. Two out three of the girls giggled and sighed every time he came in which annoyed him to no end, he had had enough attention like that from the likes of Romilda Vane and her posse during school, he didn't want it here as well. The last girl was interesting though, she seemed curious about him, but didn't make it obvious like the other two. She seemed to have a bit more intelligence too. But it was her eyes that gave that away, so pale, like the eyes of a husky with just a touch of the pastel blue in his kitchen and lounge. Every time she looked at him it felt like she could see his most well-kept secrets. And maybe she could, but she hadn't pushed for him to speak and he hadn't had to write down for her that he didn't speak, like the other two. Harry shook his head, there was something about her, but he wasn't going to think about it now. What he wanted to think about was whether he was going to go through with the music idea. Piano or guitar? Harry mimed plucking the strings of a guitar, no that didn't feel right. Tapping on the table like playing a piano, felt better but perhaps he might wait until he could feel the actual instruments in his hands. Taking a deep breath, Harry let it out slowly; it was time to do something with himself, other than read the few old school and other books he had brought with him from London.

****TL****

3pm had Harry at the supermarket. He needed some food for tea that was quick and easy. Cooking food was easier than potions ever were, thank merlin, but Harry wanted something that would soothe away his nerves after approaching about the music lessons. Plus he thought being in a medical facility could trigger flashbacks of the war. Whether it happened at the hospital or afterwards while he slept, he still wanted something that might stay down if he felt sick. Harry was plagued with night terrors, some events that happened while he was there, others that he could only imagine because he was elsewhere at the time. Oh the amount of death he still saw at night, if only he could find some peace from the terror and guilt he felt about the war.

Deciding on making some soup, Harry picked out some fresh broccoli, leek and zucchini before adding vegetable stock to his basket as he walked the isles of the supermarket. Might as well get some milk and bread for breakfast while he was here he thought. As Harry turned to the milk fridges, he felt a tap on his shoulder and panicked, jumping away from the person like a frightened rabbit. The person in turn held their hands up as Harry backed away another couple of steps.

"Woah, sorry I didn't mean to frighten you. It's just I've never **seen** you around **here** before." Harry took a couple of deep breathes and looked up. The girl was short and delicate looking, almost porcelain in appearance.

"Are you ok?" she floundered. Slowly Harry nodded looking at the girl curiously. The amount of stress that was put on the word seen was odd and on the word here, too. She kind of looked like she wanted to say lots of things but was holding it in. Careful, not to scare him again he assumed, she peered closely at him and he noticed her eyes, beautifully bright in colour and mesmerising.

"Are you sure? You don't look ok. You look like you might pass out." She mused looking no doubt, at the dark circles under his eyes. Harry shook his head and pointed at his throat. Understanding brightened her face.

"You don't speak?" she asked and Harry nodded. "Ok, do you need a hand at the cashier then?" Harry shook his head and smiled slightly before pulling out a small notepad and writing on it.

 _I'm ok, thank-you though._

The girl smiled before looking at her watch. "Alright then, well I guess I will see you around sometime." Harry waved and finally grabbed his milk before heading to the cashier. As he got closer, he realised it was the girl with the husky eyes behind the bench and smiled at her. She looked surprised but smiled back hesitantly. Putting his shopping on the counter for her, he grabbed out his note pad again.

 _Could you please tell me how to get to the hospital from here?_

Her surprise grew at the written words but diligently gave him directions as she put through his items. Harry thanked her when she finished and quickly wrote down the directions she gave him. As he got into his car, he waved at her through the shop window and smiled when she waved back. Perhaps he could try a 'conversation' with her sometime soon.

One step at a time Harry, he thought to himself. Turning on the ignition, Harry looked at the list of directions. There weren't many, it was only a small place after all, not many streets to turn down. As he drove he thought about the music lessons. He would have to get his own instruments if he went through with it, but hopefully he wouldn't need one for today as he didn't have anything yet. Arriving at the hospital, Harry entered and immediately turned to stone. It was hard, it reminded him of visiting Arthur after the snake attack, something he still felt immensely guilty for. But it wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. It was different from St Mungos, cleaner and whiter. The chemical smell was still the same, but there were no trails of potions or traces of spellwork. Giving himself a shake, Harry looked around for the help desk. Seeing it off to the left, Harry made his way over and saw a teen sitting behind the desk with a music book in front of him and a pencil in hand as he wrote. The teen looked up as Harry approached and a smile bloomed on his face.

"Hi, how can I help today?" the boy asked. Harry pulled out his notepad.

 _Hi, I'm enquiring about some music lessons? I don't speak, so you'll have to excuse my messy handwriting, but I'd like to learn to play piano. Maybe guitar as well, but I think I will just start with piano._

Harry put his notepad on the desk and pushed it toward the boy who raised his eyebrows as he read it.

"Ok no worries, when would you like to start? I am available from six tonight and tomorrow night, and really any other time any other day." He asked politely.

 _I don't have my own instruments would that be a problem if I said tonight at 7:30?_

The boy shook his head. "No that's fine, I'll just get you to come to my place and you can use my piano. It's in my living room though and I live with a few people but they usually make themselves scarce when I'm tutoring. Is that ok?" he asked. Harry nodded with a small smile.

"Ok well I will see you then, I'll write you some directions to my house from here." The boy wrote down the directions in Harry's note pad and then passed it back. Harry nodded at him and turned to leave.

****TL****

7pm rolled around just as Harry was finishing his home cooked soup and after tidying up the kitchen, Harry grabbed his notepad and jumped in his car. Making his way to the hospital, he followed the directions to his tutor's house. It was a little bit out of town, nowhere near as far out as his but was actually only a couple of huge blocks away from his own which meant that he hopefully wouldn't get lost as long as he remembered to turn off at Gimmly rd to get back home. Turning into the driveway, Harry notice that the drive was lined with soft fairy lights along the way, lighting to gravel drive and making it easier to see in the dark. When he finally reached the end of the gravel, he was looking at a vast white and glass house. It was beautiful in an architectural way and it seemed that nearly every window was filled with warm light. Stepping out of the car, Harry approached the door nervously and paused on the front step. Could he really go through with this? He was getting a twitch in his throat that said something wasn't quite right. Squaring his shoulders he knocked on the large wooden door. It didn't take long before a lovely yet scared face opened the door and squinted at him before suddenly backpedalling just like Harry had at the supermarket. Harry frowned in confusion before taking a deep breath and suddenly panicking once more. Something wasn't right.

"No it can't be you. It can't be." The words poured out of the honey blond in front of him that was still backpedalling. "It can't be. Why aren't you in London? Alice did you see this happening?" These words had Harry panicking even more who was this person with their scars and suddenly darkness was falling over his eyes as he passed out, the last thing he saw was a small delicate face with mesmerising eyes.

****TL****

 **Hi! So this one just won't leave me alone and it is currently 1:40 am here when I am posting this!**

 **I decided with the plot bunny that was nagging at me to be written after reading so many in this particular crossover. I've finally given you a name other than Harry's so if you haven't figured out where our darling Harry is by now, it should give you a fair idea of where he is!**

 **I haven't put down what the other world is yet, just to keep it a gamechanger until this chapter has been up for at least a week or until I decide to post again!**

 **Please go and check out my other works and leave me feedback!**

 **Tay Lupin xo**


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